A New Holiday Tradition

I have come up with a great new commercial idea for the holidays.

Businesses have been trying to lengthen the holiday season by making it start earlier and earlier. They’ve missed the boat. There are a lot of days after Christmas that are waiting for an entrepreneur to turn them into full economic opportunities. After all, those are pretty dull days with cold weather and long nights. They need a holiday celebration to brighten things up.

I’ve got the perfect day because it will take advantage of a Christmas ritual we are already practicing.

I’m speaking of that wonderful holiday ceremony of Sweeping up the Pine Needles. This festival will take us several weeks–nay months, for those last few pesky needles–past the holiday season.

It can be celebrated by the giving of gifts: brooms, dustpans, vacuums. The possibilities are endless.

Think of the boon to our economy! It will extend the holiday shopping season by at least a couple of weeks.

Now I’m sure there’s going to be some party poopers–or holiday hobblers–who are going to point out that a great number of people use artificial trees that leave no deposits of happy holiday needles (my phrase) laying on the floor. I think in the spirit of the new holiday, they will be happy to sweep up imaginary pine needles. I think this concept might really resonate with mimes.

So, in the spirit of this brand new holiday, I would like to wish all of you a very happy and prosperous Dustpan Day.

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