Things that Don’t Work – 1

The title of this piece seems to be an all-embracing one. You can point out all sorts of things in our society that don’t work, most of them centered around our government. But I’m talking about a specific group of things that don’t function. They’re the things we whole-heartedly believe work, but under the lens of close scrutiny, we discover they really don’t work.

At all.

The one I’m concerned with today is something whose very title turns out to be an oxymoronic mis-direction play. I’m talking about stainless steel.

Boy, is that ever great stuff! You can put it in your kitchen and cover it with tomato sauce, boil things in it, subject it to the extremes of temperature, and it will stay shiny and it absolutely won’t…

Whoops! Wait a minute. I have a late-breaking message coming in.

We recently bought a brand-new set of stainless steel pans. I figured our kitchen troubles were over. We could plunge right on, making whatever dishes we wanted to, and not worry about taking any special precautions with our pots and pans. After all we had stainless steel.

Needless to say I had a rude awakening. It turns out one has to be quite careful of staining stainless steel. There’s a whole legion of things that stain it: scorching, oil, bleach, coffee, tea, etc.

So I give you nominee number one of the Things that Don’t Work: stainless steel.

I’ll just have to keep all those things that cause stains safely stashed on my Formica counter.

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